New parent anxiety and trouble bonding. Help?


New member
Jan 19, 2023
I just adopted a very sweet 1 year old a couple days ago and we've been getting used to each other. She is an ideal adoptee, is already affectionate, exploring a lot, uses her litter box, etc. The only problem is that I'm not forming an emotional attachment to her. Every time I think of her I just get overwhelmed with the responsibility and doubt about how well I'm taking care of her, if she would be better somewhere else. This is odd to me because I'm the kind of person that gets attached to things incredibly quickly and strongly, but I'm not feeling hardly anything towards her. (I'm absolutely still returning her affection and giving her attention, whatever she needs)
I was looking forward to the companionship that came with adopting a pet, but I'm not feeling any of that love or bond. Part of me is scared that I'm not as much of a cat person as I thought I was and I'll never get attached to her. How long should I wait before thinking about returning her to her shelter? I've read on other forums sometimes it takes months, but I hate feeling this anxiety about her every day I don't know if it would be good for me to wait this long.
Any advice or similar experiences would be great.


Staff member
Nov 25, 2021
From the sound of it, you're just feeling anxiety that you're not taking proper care of her. Since you're attending to her every whim, as is to be expected between mistress and servant :love: I think you'll be fine, just give it time and try to worry less if possible.

Just make sure you know where to turn if there are any health issues you don't know how to deal with.

Welcome to Feline Forums. :)


Staff member
Apr 27, 2021
It seems like you're taking great care of her! It does take a few weeks to grow a connection with an animal. It will come in time if you let it! Soon you won't be able to live without her! Just try to spend time with her, talk to her about your day (she'll listen!) or ask her questions. I know it sounds crazy to talk to animal, but it's therapeutic and it helps form a deeper connection!